Sam-The Day I Let Parker Live

March 14, 2009 at 7:06 pm 1 comment

It may sound a bit harsh to say something like that about one’s son, but he did the unspeakable today. It was only because it was a typical Parker act that I overlooked it and allowed him to keep breathing.

Before going any further and to avoid the use of stomach churning words I want to begin by using the word “IT” from here on out to describe what he did. The word IT will replace what we all know as #2 and coincidentally IT rhymes with the word it replaces.

Our story begins earlier this afternoon. I put the twins down for their naps and retreated to my cave for a nap. As I was to find out, while I slept peaceful Parker was doing something so vile that it was impossible to believe…a quick jolt awake for me as I groggily went to his room after my nap.

My first clue and I can’t believe I missed it, was that Parker was dressed in a different outfit than he went to bed in.

I walked in his room and to my horror most of a full pack of baby wipes was spread all over his floor. However, making it worse was that each pile of wipes was covered in IT (remember the word we’re using to avoid problems). I immediately knew what had happened. He’d obviously done IT as he slept and was attempting to clean IT up.

Had this been all I probably would have been proud that he tried. However, upon further inspection I found IT on the carpet and IT on the steps to Jack’s bed and IT on his sheets and IT on his pillow and even IT on his wall up near the shelf on which I keep the wipes.

Time for a 10 second breather and to regroup my thoughts before proceeding. Since Parker had obviously changed clothes I asked him where his other clothes were. In the bathroom was the answer. I walked to the bathroom to find an equally bad scene.

The clothes and underwear full of IT were on the floor. IT was even on the floor in spots. IT was on the toilet seat. IT was on the bathroom rug and IT was even on a towel…the perfect place to wipe IT off I guess. Then I peered into the toilet and once again a sight to behold.

There was no water in the toilet; it was just crammed with a huge pile of wipes covered in IT. My first reaction was to flush. Not a good choice as the toilet was clogged with IT covered wipes and the water backed up to the rim.

Now it was time to double my regrouping efforts and just laugh. I mean he did try to take care of IT himself even if it made matters unbelievably worse.

I got a plastic bag and started loading in the wipes in the bedroom and the undies in the bathroom. Then it was time to plunge the toilet. All the dirty wipes were now gone. The brand new pack of wipes had about 10 left in it and I used those to clean IT off the bedroom wall, Jack’s steps, toilet and the bathroom floor. I sprayed the bedroom floor and got those spots up and then stripped the bed to wash everything. I also washed the bathroom rugs and towels.

A little Lysol, a little Febreze and everything was back to normal except a faint lingering smell of IT.

I jokingly started this blog by saying that I let Parker live, but honestly he had nothing to worry about. I guess more of a surprise to me was that my overall reaction wasn’t anger (like in the past) but rather admiration that he tried to fix things and laughter about the whole thing.

Gotta wrap this up. I just found another smear of IT on the bedroom door…gotta clean.
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Entry filed under: Sam.

In Memory of Melissa I caught it at a Parade

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. cclark1107  |  March 17, 2009 at 8:45 am

    That is too funny! I dont think I would’ve handled it as well as you did. I would’ve been angry at first, and then maybe later, after having time to chill out and think about what he was trying to do, I would have laughed about it and apoligized to him for being angry with him. All part of growing up I guess!

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