You Get Old and Die

October 1, 2007 at 4:53 am 1 comment

In addition to the incident with the non-pregnant woman this past weekend, Jackson started a line of questioning that I think is going to go on for quite a while…until he’s older and truly understands it.

We frequently pass a cemetery near my house and for some reason he decided this weekend to ask what a cemetery was all about.

I explained all that I could about dead people being buried…I mean, how to do tell this to a 4 year old.

Of course my explanation elicited a bunch of “why” questions. 

He wanted to know why people are buried (they die).
Why do they die (they are old, sick, accidents, etc.)
Why do they get old (we all get old…you’ll get old one day)
Are you old daddy (well, kinda)
Are you gonna die (yes, but I’m not that old yet)
He asked why live people are at the cemetery (visitng the people the love who have died)
Why do they do that (to bring flowers and say hi)
What are the big rocks for (those are tombstones)
Why (they have names on them to let everyone know who is buried there)
Why (so you know where to find people)
Why are there two together in some places (those are mommies and daddies who are buried together)

You kinda get the idea?  This continued for the entire weekend.  It wasn’t constant, but it popped up throughtout the weekend whenever we passed a cemetery or a question just popped into his head.

It also popped up at dinner Saturday evening.  Whenever an elderly person passed our table he would reach out and ask them if they were old.  I stopped him before this continued because I knew the next question for each person would be “are you going to die”?  Sure, elderly folks generally like it when  cute little kid stops them to talk, but when the kid is only concerned about their age, their life expectancy and cemeteries, it sorta puts grandpa on edge.

When I dropped Jack off at Christi’ Sunday night, I warned her what she might expect.  Sure enough, before I left he told her when people get old they die and get buried in the cemetery and have tombstones.

Since the weekend he has mentioned it again a few times.  Now though, he’s the one with the facts about who dies, why they are buried, people who visit graves and tombstones.  He still asks a few questions though.

This may sound crazy, but I think next time I have him I’m going to take him to the cemetery to see it up close.  Maybe walking past graves and touching tombstones will help bring it into perspective (as much as it can for a 4 year old)

The one thing that is interesting is that he doesn’t seem upset by any of this.  I mean I wasa hesitant with my answers at first because I wasn’t sure if all the death talk would upset him.  I remember when I was a kid and death scared me…to death.  Jack on the other hand just asks his questions matter of factly…just like an investigator.

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Entry filed under: Sam.

Murphy: Give a 2 year old a camera and…. (Drew) Change your life in 30 days…the actual song

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. domiano  |  October 4, 2007 at 6:18 am

    Sam,

    With young children, especially little boys you will approach many hurdles throughout his childhood. I was a single mother for 13 years raising 2 boys and they always kept me on my toes. Boys are great……But they do say whatever comes to mind to whomever they choose. It’s just a part of life. By the way, I think it’s great the relationship you have with your children. Keep up the good work. And I love your laugh it cracks me up…..

    Reply

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