Clacky Clacky !

August 21, 2007 at 8:47 am Leave a comment

 

It seems like everytime I grab a shopping cart—and I mean EVERYWHERE, I get the “misfit .” Even if they’re shiny and new, just when I think I’ve reached victory ( victory defined as a cart that won?t pull to the right or left ) I push, and get the wobbly wheel.


Wal-mart, Home Depot, even my neighborhood grocery store-all the same, all the time.


 


So to keep a positive outlook, I’ve decided it’s officially a sport?.a betting game?.Today, which of the 7 types of carts will I grab ? As I approach the cart line, I randomly select: this day will it be ?……


1) Pulls left


2) Pulls right


3) Right wheel spins incessantly?round an round and round?. with a clacking noise .


4) Same for left wheel.


5) The wobbly wheel–doesn’t turn right or left, but gets louder the faster you push.


5) The Rhythmic bounce – ka-plunk…ka-plunk…ka-plunk…


6) The Skidding wheel with string wrapped around it.


7) The Locked wheel that grunts, skids,  and scares the elderly.


 


It must be my personal paranoia because just as I assure myself that I’m shopping at the place where “everyone is rough on the carts”, not a soul around me seems to clack, spin, bounce or skid. Just me…me and my clacker. Praying to fill the cart quickly so that the next case of juice boxes, diet sodas, or my girls’ chocolate pudding boxes will weigh it down for a moment of “clack-free shopping.”


 


And it seems to be worse at Home Depot where I’m the crazy guy with the lightbulbs clacking and spinning my way down the Electrical aisle. ( Realize we guys are more concerned about being cool at Home Dept than at ANY grocery store-it is our personal kingdom of do-it-yourself-knowing-it-all-despite-the-better-advice-of-our-wives place.) The pressure is so great to rid myself of the offending shopping cart that I’ve been known to covertly ditch a few on the paint aisle and go all the way back to the front of the store for a new one.


Maybe I just haven’t learned to properly manage the clackiest of carts ? After all, there HAVE to be more mauled carts than new and shiny-so more of my pushing peers are struggling with their wobbles too-maybe they just hide it better.


 


In fact, I’m convinced I’ve seen those who are on the same mission. A slight strain in the face. A grunt to move it forward. Or the dead giveaway of all – the SLOW stepper. No one moves that slowly in a grocery store unless they either a) are trying to mask a screamer of a grocery cart or b) they can’t find the Ovaltine.


Okay?it’s a little OCD of me. Maybe it doesn’t happen ALL the time, but it’s enough that I do notice and have a sense of victory when I choose my cart, push it forward, and ?.nirvana??..no wobbles, no clacks-just the smooth roll of a fine tuned machine that seems to lead ME down the aisle. And a tinge of guilt when I laugh inside as I pass the clacker coming towards me.


 


May your next trip to the store be “clack free ” !


 


Always love hearing from you?

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