Changing my life in 30 Days… (By Drew)

When deciding what to change I thought about losing weight and some of the other typical “resolutions” and decided against the usual suspects (which is good since I’m currently eating my neighbor’s world famous spaghetti and meatballs).  One of my dreams has always been to be a writer.  Really it doesn’t even matter what kind of writer, I’d be happy writing articles, writing novels (I will do this at some point), poetry (currently do, that’s how I got a wife), and songs.

I’m choosing songs because it will not only change me, it might change my wife.  She is the most talented singer I’ve ever known and what greater thrill could I have than hearing her sing a song I’ve written.  So that is where I’m at…I need a melody, then write a song to fit and then have her play and sing my song.

I’m open to suggestions.  What do I write about?  Should there be a structure?  What do you find in the best songs? 

If you have any help for me I’m all ears (and eyes, because I can read too), please share your creativity and writing with me, or if you’re like me and just getting started, send me what you’ve got and we’ll share and grow together for the next 30 days.  Email me at drew@murphysamandjodi.com.

“Change”ing Sam in 32 Days

 Well here it is…my albatross for the next 30 days…the SWEAR JAR! 

Now I’ve caught a bit of slack for wimping out on the “change your life in 30 days”.  There are those here who shall remain nameless who have told me this isn’t a real life changer or that I’m taking the easy way out.  To that I say HA!  This is a life changer for me. 

Little does everyone know, I come from a long line of cursers.  I learned as a child it was okay to toss around 4 letter words just like any other adjective or noun or even adverb.  My family was very astute about working the proper colorful language into any conversation. And mind you, it wasn’t just mom and dad who were proficient potty mouths.  When all the branches of the family tree gathered for the holidays my impressionable ears were guaranteed to pick up a couple of new words or new uses for existing expletives. 

Of course, as a child I wondered where mom and dad learned all these fanciful uses of the mother tongue.  That was, until I realized that mom and dad had nothing on the language masters: maw maw and paw paw.  Wow…the things they would say…the melodic way such nasty words were made to sound so beautiful and eloquent to the ear.  One could sit at their feet for hours as they wove such wonderfully punctuated stories. 

I guess at this point you could think I’m glorifying cursing.  Nah, just the opposite.  Now as an adult I realize just how wrong it is to curse…especially now that I have my own kids.  I know I shouldn’t curse.  When I’m around my parents now and they continue their cursing ways, it actually makes me cringe.  That which I used to think was normal now sounds so wrong.  And yes, I’ve told them at times to stop cursing, but to no avail. So now I shall bear the standard, take up the fight, lead the charge…and all that…to rid the world or at least myself of this nasty four letter habit. 

Keep an eye on the jar as I’ll post regular updates on my progress or lack thereof…and regular pictures of the swear jar and its contents.  Remember, I have to add a penny every time I slip.  How many pennies do you think I’ll have at the end of the month? 

And while we’re at it…is it “cursing” or “cussing”?  I’ve always said “cursing” because that’s what I always heard.  All my friends and schoolmates said it that way as well.  That was the only way to say it as far as I knew…until I went to college and met some non-city dwellers…the folks who use “cuss” and “nekked” and similar such words.  So which is it “curse” or “cuss”? 

Sam

Keep it or chunk it it ?

So what are you keeping a) that you haven’t used in YEARS ( not months) b) has NO sentimental value and c) you just keep around for a reason you really don’t know other than ‘you can’t get rid of it’ ?

I have several of these-but i finally parted with it today ( see above). About 15 years ago someone had one of these coolers at a party, and I thought it was cool. “Cool” to mean at what was then 24 years old is not quite the same now. In fact, the only reason I kept it was “in case I needed it for a party”. Jodi and I have had many parties and family get togethers over the years, yet the Ronrico cooler stayed in the garage, collecting an assortment of bugs, dirt, and miscellaneous items that would fit in the top. Last night the Ronrico cooler and I parted ways after 15 years, and only one ice filled use that entire time. Not sure why I was in the denial of  thinking it would be used. So what finally did it for me ? The reality of the question ” Let’s see, I have not used it in the last 15 years, so maybe I’ll use it this weekend ?” So out it went to the trash – BUT–someone else apparently has that vision of a party with the “really cool Ronrico cooelr conversation piece”, becuas eas I left this morning and long before the trash truck arrived, it had disappeared form the front yard…..someone stashing it in their trunk for either a great party…..OR 15 years in someone elses garage .

Changing my life in 30 days….

Starting weight – 8 lbs

Today’s weight – 8 lbs (read below for an explantion)

Yes I have decided to bite the bullet and start working out again. I was uber in shape in high school because I was on the volleyball team. Then it all went downhill. ANYWAY. I am working out at least 4 days a week. I’m running, walking, stair climbing, “roller blading” (it simulates it), and weight lifting. I’m at a great gym with support every where, so there is no excuse for me to fail….

I’ve said I’ll try to lose 8 lbs and like any woman I’m not comfortable sharing my weight with anyone but myself! So we’ll say my starting weight is 8 lbs and I’ll do a countdown as each lb is lost during the month of September.

Are you trying to lose weight too? Please help me! I need all of the support I can get. You can either leave a comment below or email me with any help, support or questions you may have.

– Emilie

Away to College

Sammy is now checked in and away at college and surprisingly I’m not as affected as I thought I’d be.  I do have a new layer of anxiety in my life with an 18 year-old left alone and unsupervised in college…but there’s not much I can do about it now.  Sure, I can cross my fingers and pray, and I’ve done both, but it’s in Sammy’s hands now.

 I’m not saying I’m abandoning him to sink or swim, but I’ve decided to cut him lots of slack to let him see what he can do and figure out what he wants to do. 

This past weekend was the big move in.  It was a bit anticlimactic, a bit less than I thought it might be.  Maybe I’d built it up too much in my head, but it was really a “matter of fact” kinda thing.

 

Sammy wanted to leave on the long drive to campus at 5am on Saturday morning…not my idea of fun.  I told Sammy we didn’t need to leave so early, but what do dads know.  I honestly decided to keep my opinions out of a lot of this whole thing because I didn’t want to spend the whole day saying “you should do it this way”.  I do have to add that I was right, we did leave too early because we arrived on campus 90 minutes too early to check in.  But hey, no “I told you so” from me…I went with it and suggested breakfast to kill time.  And then we went to the football stadium and ran all over the field…that was fun.

 

There were a few other times I just couldn’t bite my tongue and had to say something because I truly knew Sammy was going about things the wrong way.  Of course, in loving dad fashion, I didn’t tell him to do it a certain way…I’d just suggest he might try it that way.  That way, it was his decision and I felt good because I got my two cents in.

 

At check-in time we…checked-in.   It only took about 30 minutes to cart everything up to his room.  Again, I really had to fight the urge to tell him how he “should” be doing things.  Sammy and his roommate Nelson brought way too much stuff for their small closet-sized room.  They have 6 guitars, a homemade guitar rack, 5 or 6 guitar amps, Nelson’s full-sized drum set, two computers, a fridge and microwave…oh and finally clothes and everything else they really need.

 

It was obvious this was not all going to fit…a point which 13 year old Will kept mentioning.  At one point we had to tell Will to leave because Sammy and Nelson looked like they were ready to pounce on him. 

 

Luckily, since we were one of the first ones in the dorm, we were able to find some bunk beds in another room and move those to Sammy’s room and that saved some space.

 

I could tell Sammy was starting to get tired of all the “why don’t you put this here and that there” advice that everyone was freely dispensing.  He and Nelson hurriedly started shoving boxes under furniture and moving things out of the way and telling us they’d get it all situated later.  To me that was the hint that they wanted us gone.

 

I did take a little offense at this…I mean I got up before the sun and drove forever to help move him in…and for what “see ya later…bye”? 

 

But then…FLASHBACK…a “put yourself in his shoes” moment.  I went back to the day I moved into college and remembered I behaved the same way.  I just wanted to get away from the parents, be on my own, get things the way I wanted them, be independent, etc.  So I happily obliged, gave him a hug, told him I loved him and headed out the door…none too soon as it closed right behind us anyway.  Amazing.

 

And it was over with just like that…the day I had anticipated for months was now over.  No great emotions or sadness or anything really…just “see you later”.  I do think Sammy’s mom was getting a little misty eyed trying to hold it together, and she did a great job.  We all headed downstairs and left.

 

I did take some time to drive through campus to get my bearings, and then we headed out. 

 

I did speak to Sammy Saturday night on the phone and he told me how his drumline tryouts went.  He already knew he was on the drumline, he just didn’t know where…he made 4^th chair (of 9) snare.  Nelson made last chair cymbals.

 

That night he told me he and Nelson had gotten everything situated the way they’d wanted and were settling in. 

 

I’ll be headed back in a couple of weeks with Jack and Will to go check out a football game…or more importantly the band at a game.

 

In the meantime, check out some of the pictures of their dorm room and the boxes of stuff.

 Sam